The Queen of Quok
A king once died, as kings are apt to do, being as liable to shortness of
breath as other mortals.
It was high time this king abandoned his earth life, for he had lived in a
sadly extravagant manner, and his subjects could spare him without the slightest
inconvenience.
His father had left him a full treasury, both money and jewels being in
abundance. But the foolish king just deceased had squandered every penny in
riotous living. He had then taxed his subjects until most of them became
paupers, and this money vanished in more riotous living. Next he sold all the
grand old furniture in the palace; all the silver and gold plate and
bric-a-brac; all the rich carpets and furnishings and even his own kingly
wardrobe, reserving only a soiled and moth-eaten ermine robe to fold over his
threadbare rainment. And he spent the money in further riotous living.
Don't ask me to explain what riotous living is. I only know, from hearsay,
that it is an excellent way to get rid of money. And so this spendthrift king
found it.
He now picked all the magnificent jewels from this kingly crown and from the
round ball on the top of his scepter, and sold them and spent the money. Riotous
living, of course. But at last he was at the end of his resources. He couldn't
sell the crown itself, because no one but the king had the right to wear it.
Neither could he sell the royal palace, because only the king had the right to
live there.
So, finally, he found himself reduced to a bare palace, containing only a big
mahogany bedstead that he slept in, a small stool on which he sat to pull off
his shoes and the moth-eaten ermine robe.
In this straight he was reduced to the necessity of borrowing an occasional
dime from his chief counselor, with which to buy a ham sandwich. And the chief
counselor hadn't many dimes. One who counseled his king so foolishly was likely
to ruin his own prospects as well.
So the king, having nothing more to live for, died suddenly and left a
ten-year-old son to inherit the dismantled kingdom, the moth-eaten robe and the
jewel-stripped crown.
No one envied the hild, who had scarcely been thought of until he became king
himself. Then he was recognized as a pesonage of some importance, and the
politicians and hangers-on, headed by the chief counselor of the kingdom, held a
meeting to determine what could be done for him.
These folk had helped the old king to live riotously while his money lasted,
and now they were poor and too proud to work. So they tried to think of a plan
that would bring more money into the little king's treasury, where it would be
handy for them to help themselves.
After the meeting was over the chief counselor came to the young king, who
was playing peg-top in the courtyard, and said:
"Your majesty, we have thought of a way to restore your kingdom to its former
power and magnificence."
"All right," replied his majesty, carelessly. "How will you do it?"
"By marrying you to a lady of great wealth," replied the counselor.
"Marrying me!" cried the king. "Why, I am only ten years old!"
"I know; it is to be regretted. But your majesty will grow older, and the
affairs of the kingdom demand that you marry a wife."
"Can't I marry a mother, instead?" asked the poor little king, who had lost
his mother when a baby.
"Certainly not," declared the counselor. "To marry a mother would be illegal;
to marry a wife is right and proper."
"Can't you marry her yourself?" inquired his majesty, aiming his peg-top at
the chief counselor's toe, and laughing to see how he jumped to escape it.
"Let me explain," said the other. "You haven't a penny in the world, but you
have a kingdom. There are many rich women who would be glad to give their wealth
in exchange for a queen's coronet--even if the king is but a child. So we have
decided to advertise that the one who bids the highest shall become the queen of
Quok."
"If I must marry at all," said the king, after a moment's thought, "I prefer
to marry Nyana, the armorer's daughter."
"She is too poor," replied the counselor.
"Her teeth are pearls, her eyes are amethysts, and her hair is gold,"
declared the little king.
"True, your majesty. But consider that your wife's wealth must be used. How
would Nyana look after you have pulled her teeth of pearls, plucked out her
amethyst eyes and shaved her golden head?"
The boy shuddered.
"Have your own way," he said, despairingly. "Only let the lady be as dainty as
possible and a good playfellow."
"We shall do our best," returned the chief counselor, and went away to
advertise throughout the neighboring kingdoms for a wife for the boy king of
Quok.
There were so many applicants for the privilege of marrying the little king
that it was decided to put him up at auction, in order that the largest possible
sum of money should be brought into the kingdom. So, on the day appointed, the
ladies gathered at the palace from all the surrounding kingdoms--from Bilkon,
Mulgravia, Junkum and even as far away as the republic of Macvelt.
The chief counselor came to the palace early in the morning and had the
king's face washed and his hair combed; and then he padded the inside of the
crown with old newspapers to make it small enough to fit his majesty's head. It
was a sorry looking crown, having many big and little holes in it where the
jewels had once been; and it had been neglected and knocked around until it was
quite battered and tarnished. Yet, as the counselor said, it was the king's
crown, and it was quite proper he should wear it on the solemn occasion of his
auction.
Like all boys, be they kings or paupers, his majesty had torn and soiled his
one suit of clothes, so that they were hardly presentable; and there was no
money to buy new ones. Therefore the counselor wound the old ermine robe around
the king and sat him upon the stool in the middle of the otherwise empty
audience chamber.
And around him stood all the courtiers and politicians and hangers-on of the
kingdom, consisting of such people as were too proud or lazy to work for a
living. There was a great number of them, you may be sure, and they made an
imposing appearance.
Then the doors of the audience chamber were thrown open, and the wealthy
ladies who aspired to being queen of Quok came trooping in. The king looked them
over with much anxiety, and decided they were each and all old enough to be his
grandmother, and ugly enough to scare away the crows from the royal cornfields.
After which he lost interest in them.
But the rich ladies never looked at the poor little king squatting upon his
stool. They gathered at once about the chief counselor, who acted as auctioneer.
"How much am I offered for the coronet of the queen of Quok?" asked the
counselor, in a loud voice.
"Where is the coronet?" inquired a fussy old lady who had just buried her
ninth husband and was worth several millions.
"There isn't any coronet at present," explained the chief counselor, "but
whoever bids highest will have the right to wear one, and she can then buy it."
"Oh," said the fussy old lady, "I see." Then she added: "I'll bid fourteen
dollars."
"Fourteen thousand dollars!" cried a sour-looking woman who was thin and tall
and had wrinkles all over her skin--"like a frosted apple," the king thought.
The bidding now became fast and furious, and the poverty-stricken courtiers
brightened up as the sum began to mount into the millions.
"He'll bring us a very pretty fortune, after all," whispered one to his
comrade, "and then we shall have the pleasure of helping him spend it."
The king began to be anxious. All the women who looked at all kind-hearted or
pleasant had stopped bidding for lack of money, and the slender old dame with
the wrinkles seemed determined to get the coronet at any price, and with it the
boy husband. This ancient creature finally became so excited that her wig got
crosswise of her head and her false teeth kept slipping out, which horrified the
little king greatly; but she would not give up.
At last the chief counselor ended the auction by crying out:
"Sold to Mary Ann Brodjinsky de la Porkus for three million, nine hundred
thousand, six hundred and twenty-four dollars and sixteen cents!" And the
sour-looking old woman paid the money in cash and on the spot, which proves this
is a fairy story.
The king was so disturbed at the thought that he must marry this hideous
creature that he began to wail and weep; whereupon the woman boxed his ears
soundly. But the counselor reproved her for punishing her future husband in
public, saying:
"You are not married yet. Wait until to-morrow, after the wedding takes
place. Then you can abuse him as much as you wish. But at present we prefer to
have people think this is a love match."
The poor king slept but little that night, so filled was he with terror of
his future wife. Nor could he get the idea out of his head that he preferred to
marry the armorer's daughter, who was about his own age. He tossed and tumbled
around upon his hard bed until the moonlight came in at the window and lay like
a great white sheet upon the bare floor. Finally, in turning over for the
hundredth time, his hand struck against a secret spring in the headboard of the
big mahogany bedstead, and at once, with a sharp click, a panel flew open.
The noise caused the king to look up, and, seeing the open panel, he stood
upon tiptoe, and, reaching within, drew out a folded paper. It had several
leaves fastened together like a book, and upon the first page was written:
"When the king is in trouble This leaf he must double And set it on fire To
obtain his desire."
This was not very good poetry, but when the king had spelled it out in the
moonlight he was filled with joy.
"There's no doubt about my being in trouble," he exclaimed; "so I'll burn it
at once, and see what happens."
He tore off the leaf and put the rest of the book in its secret hiding place.
Then, folding the paper double, he placed it on the top of his stool, lighted a
match and set fire to it.
It made a horrid smudge for so small a paper, and the king sat on the edge of
the bed and watched it eagerly.
When the smoke cleared away he was surprised to see, sitting upon the stool,
a round little man, who, with folded arms and crossed legs, sat calmly facing
the king and smoking a black briarwood pipe.
"Well, here I am," said he.
"So I see," replied the little king. "But how did you get here?"
"Didn't you burn the paper?" demanded the round man, by way of answer.
"Yes, I did," acknowledged the king.
"Then you are in trouble, and I've come to help you out of it. I'm the Slave
of the Royal Bedstead."
"Oh!" said the king. "I didn't know there was one."
"Neither did your father, or he would not have been so foolish as to sell
everything he had for money. By the way, it's lucky for you he did not sell this
bedstead. Now, then, what do you want?"
"I'm not sure what I want," replied the king; "but I know what I don't want,
and that is the old woman who is going to marry me."
"That's easy enough," said the Slave of the Royal Bedstead. "All you need do
is to return her the money she paid the chief counselor and declare the match
off. Don't be afraid. You are the king, and your word is law."
"To be sure," said the majesty. "But I am in great need of money. How am I
going to live if the chief counselor returns to Mary Ann Brodjinski her
millions?"
"Phoo! that's easy enough," again answered the man, and, putting his hand in
his pocket, he drew out and tossed to the king an old-fashioned leather purse.
"Keep that with you," said he, "and you will always be rich, for you can take
out of the purse as many twenty-five-cent silver pieces as you wish, one at a
time. No matter how often you take one out, another will instantly appear in its
place within the purse."
"Thank you," said the king, gratefully. "You have rendered me a rare favor;
for now I shall have money for all my needs and will not be obliged to marry
anyone. Thank you a thousand times!"
"Don't mention it," answered the other, puffing his pipe slowly and watching
the smoke curl into the moonlight. "Such things are easy to me. Is that all you
want?"
"All I can think of just now," returned the king.
"Then, please close that secret panel in the bedstead," said the man; "the
other leaves of the book may be of use to you some time."
The boy stood upon the bed as before and, reaching up, closed the opening so
that no one else could discover it. Then he turned to face his visitor, but the
Slave of the Royal Bedstead had disappeared.
"I expected that," said his majesty; "yet I am sorry he did not wait to say
good-by."
With a lightened heart and a sense of great relief the boy king placed the
leathern purse underneath his pillow, and climbing into bed again slept soundly
until morning.
When the sun rose his majesty rose also, refreshed and comforted, and the
first thing he did was to send for the chief counselor.
That mighty personage arrived looking glum and unhappy, but the boy was too
full of his own good fortune to notice it. Said he:
"I have decided not to marry anyone, for I have just come into a fortune of
my own. Therefore I command you return to that old woman the money she has paid
you for the right to wear the coronet of the queen of Quok. And make public
declaration that the wedding will not take place."
Hearing this the counselor began to tremble, for he saw the young king had
decided to reign in earnest; and he looked so guilty that his majesty inquired:
"Well! what is the matter now?"
"Sire," replied the wretch, in a shaking voice, "I cannot return the woman
her money, for I have lost it!"
"Lost it!" cried the king, in mingled astonishment and anger.
"Even so, your majesty. On my way home from the auction last night I stopped
at the drug store to get some potash lozenges for my throat, which was dry and
hoarse with so much loud talking; and your majesty will admit it was through my
efforts the woman was induced to pay so great a price. Well, going into the drug
store I carelessly left the package of money lying on the seat of my carriage,
and when I came out again it was gone. Nor was the thief anywhere to be seen."
"Did you call the police?" asked the king.
"Yes, I called; but they were all on the next block, and although they have
promised to search for the robber I have little hope they will ever find him."
The king sighed.
"What shall we do now?" he asked.
"I fear you must marry Mary Ann Brodjinski," answered the chief counselor;
"unless, indeed, you order the executioner to cut her head off."
"That would be wrong," declared the king. "The woman must not be harmed. And
it is just that we return her money, for I will not marry her under any
circumstances."
"Is that private fortune you mentioned large enough to repay her?" asked the
counselor.
"Why, yes," said the king, thoughtfully, "but it will take some time to do
it, and that shall be your task. Call the woman here."
The counselor went in search of Mary Ann, who, when she heard she was not to
become a queen, but would receive her money back, flew into a violent passion
and boxed the chief counselor's ears so viciously that they stung for nearly an
hour. But she followed him into the king's audience chamber, where she demanded
her money in a loud voice, claiming as well the interest due upon it over night.
"The counselor has lost your money," said the boy king, "but he shall pay you
every penny out of my own private purse. I fear, however, you will be obliged to
take it in small change."
"That will not matter," she said, scowling upon the counselor as if she
longed to reach his ears again; "I don't care how small the change is so long as
I get every penny that belongs to me, and the interest. Where is it?"
"Here," answered the king, handing the counselor the leathern purse. "It is
all in silver quarters, and they must be taken from the purse one at a time; but
there will be plenty to pay your demands, and to spare."
So, there being no chairs, the counselor sat down upon the floor in one
corner and began counting out silver twenty-five-cent pieces from the purse, one
by one. And the old woman sat upon the floor opposite him and took each piece of
money from his hand.
It was a large sum: three million, nine hundred thousand, six hundred and
twenty-four dollars and sixteen cents. And it takes four times as many
twenty-five-cent pieces as it would dollars to make up the amount.
The king left them sitting there and went to school, and often thereafter he
came to the counselor and interrupted him long enough to get from the purse what
money he needed to reign in a proper and dignified manner. This somewhat delayed
the counting, but as it was a long job, anyway, that did not matter much.
The king grew to manhood and married the pretty daughter of the armorer, and
they now have two lovely children of their own. Once in awhile they go into the
big audience chamber of the palace and let the little ones watch the aged,
hoary-headed counselor count out silver twenty-five-cent pieces to a withered
old woman, who watched his every movement to see that he does not cheat her.
It is a big sum, three million, nine hundred thousand, six hundred and
twenty-four dollars and sixteen cents in twenty-five-cent pieces.
But this is how the counselor was punished for being so careless with the
woman's money. And this is how Mary Ann Brodjinski de la Porkus was also
punished for wishing to marry a ten-year-old king in order that she might wear
the coronet of the queen of Quok.
(from American Fairy Tales , by L. Frank Baum)
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